


In the Interim

by anonymouschupacabra (accordingtomyresearch)



Series: Online Relationship [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Fluff and Smut, M/M, New Yorker Lance (Voltron), Texan Keith (Voltron)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-12-19 04:25:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11889942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/accordingtomyresearch/pseuds/anonymouschupacabra
Summary: in the six months between Keith's visit to New York to see Lance, and Lance's visit to see Keith in Texas, they talk. alot.or: two boys who are just out there...texting...being gay...





	In the Interim

**Author's Note:**

> so this was supposed to be like a short 6k bridge piece between The Visit and the next one (title pending) but like,,, it somehow got to 14k and idk man I've lost control of my life. 
> 
> it does make more sense if you've read the other fic but don't let me stop you.

* * *

####  **July 2nd:**

The low ringing sound of the skype call sounded through Lance’s headphones as he watched Keith’s icon load up in the center of his screen.

He was nervous; very nervous. This was their first skype call since Keith had gone back to Texas just over a week ago. Since then, they had texted all day every day and spent most nights on the phone, but this was going to be the first time he saw his boyfriend’s—god that word still felt so new—face since he’d gone.

Lance heard the mic connecting before he saw anything change on the screen. There was a loud quick scraping sound that jarred Lance before a couple of breathed swears and a few more scraping sounds.

“Um… hello?” Lance said, still only staring at the Captain America icon with Keith’s username written underneath. He could see himself in the corner square of the screen, lightly illuminated by the black window in front of him, the glow from the computer reflecting slightly off the wall behind him. He heard a few more scraping sounds and a few more distant swears. “Keith? You good?”

“Yeah hold on—” Keith’s voice came in distant, like he was standing on the other side of the room from his mic. “I’m just— ok,” suddenly his voice was much closer and the loading circle showed up on his icon before quickly changing to show Keith, leaning very close into the screen with only his neck and chin visible.

“Uh Keith, you’re a bit too close,” Lance chuckled.

“I know I’m just trying to adjust this stupid fucking—ok I got it,” Keith said quickly. He sat back, centering himself in the frame so Lance could now see from his chest up.

Lance knew it had only been about a week, but the sight of Keith made his breath catch in his throat. Wearing an old ratty Avengers tshirt with his hair pulled back into a loose ponytail and a soft smile on his face, Keith looked just about as gorgeous as Lance could imagine. He tried to chalk it up to the fact that they were still in their honeymoon stage in their very young relationship, but he also knew that Keith was just so beautiful.

“Hi,” Lance said lamely, not even bothering to control the butterflies in his stomach and the smile on his face.

“Hey,” Keith said back, looking every bit as smitten as Lance felt at the moment. “Sorry about that, I dropped my laptop on my bed and then it fell onto the floor so I had to quickly clear my desk to set it on there.”

“It’s ok,” Lance said with a shrug. “I’m just happy to see you.” He almost regretted saying that so soon, but he watched a smile spread across Keith’s face.

“I’m happy to see you too,” Keith said leaning his chin on his fist. “I’m sorry it took us this long to skype again, I just got our internet fixed this morning.”

“You’re the one who was missing out on this beautiful face,” Lance said motioning in a circle over his face. “It’s a goddamn crime.”

“Well I wouldn’t want to break any laws,” Keith smirked. “I guess I’m gonna just have to make sure we skype extra now.”

“Sounds good to me, I’m down,” Lance grinned. They paused looking at each other for a moment, before both starting to speak at the same time. “No, no, you go.”

“No it’s ok, what were you gonna say?” Keith asked.

“You sure?” Lance said. “I can’t wait if it’s important?”

“Lance it’s not a big deal,” Keith shook his head.

“No, you tell me first,” Lance said shifting in place on his bed, “I’ll wait.”

Keith sighed, but he looked more amused than annoyed. “Ok, I just I wanted to tell you that I finally watched Wonder Woman.”

“Oh? And?” Lance said excitedly.

Keith paused for a second, before exhaling heavily. “It was really fucking good,” Keith said defeatedly. “Maybe—and I’m not saying that this is true for all of the DC universe movies, because most are bad—”

“—Well—”

“—but maybe the Wonder Woman movie was better than a few of the Marvel movies,” Keith admitted in a rush.

Lance beamed. “I’ve converted you.”

“No you haven’t,” Keith shook his head, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms over his Avengers tshirt.

“Sure, we’ll see,” Lance smirked.

“Yeah, mhm,” Keith nodded. “So, what were you gonna tell me?”

The smile wavered slightly on Lance’s face. “I um,” Lance began, swallowing. Besides seeing his boyfriends unfairly pretty face, there had been a reason for this skype call. Lance just wasn’t sure how to say it. “I wanted to tell you something.”

“Ok,” Keith nodded, leaning forward again. “What is it?”

“Um… I… I told my parents,” Lance said in one breath. Keith just looked up at him blankly. “About us. I told them that we’re… um… dating.”

After a second, a small fond smile grew on Keith’s face. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Lance nodded. “I did.”

“Well guessing that from the fact that you’re skyping me from your bedroom and not the street I can guess that things went ok?” Keith asked.

“They went… yeah they went ok,” Lance said. “They aren’t disowning me or anything so that’s good— although I didn’t think they would.”

“I’m glad,” Keith said. “So what happened what’d they say? How’d you tell them?”

“Well, I sort of caught them at what I judged to be the most opportune time to tell them: right after dinner but before they go into the living room to watch HGTV,” Lance explained. “Which was perfect timing to be honest, because they were full but not tired.”

“Sounds very planned out,” Keith laughed.

“Oh trust me it was,” Lance scoffed.

“So what’d you say?” Keith asked.

“Basically, I sat them down and I told them that I was dating someone, and they said ok, and when I told them that they’d already met the person, they kinda looked at each other like they knew,” Lance continued. “And when I said that person was you they both kinda leaned back like I was confirming a suspicion they had had.”

“Oh, damn were we obvious or something?” Keith said.

“Well,” Lance sighed, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly, “kinda yeah.”   

“Shit.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Why? What gave us away?” Keith asked.

“So I tell them we’re dating, they sort of just nod and say ok and thank you for telling us and then I go back up to my room feeling sort of weird,” Lance sighed. “But a few minutes later, maybe 20 or so, there’s a knock on my door and my mom comes in holding two mugs of hot chocolate.”

“Oh no.”

“Yeah exactly,” Lance nodded. “And she hands me one and sits on my bed and then proceeds to tell me that she had had a feeling that there was something going on between me and you because when she came to get the laundry from my room on the last few days you were here, the air mattress had been left discarded against the wall, and your blankets were on my bed.” Lance sighed, watching the information registered on Keith’s face. “Oh and apparently my sister caught us making out,” he added in a rush.

“Um I’m sorry, she did what now?” Keith said blinking in confusion. “But we were super careful!? Sort of.”

“Yeah… but like apparently… making out in the backyard in the middle of the night… wasn’t a good idea… because her bedroom faces the backyard,” Lance said slowly.

“Well damn,” Keith exhaled. “What did your mom say about that?”

“She said she wished we came to her while you were still here, and told her together,” Lance sighed. “I explained to her that this,” he gestured between him and the screen, “was still really new, and she understood, but still wanted me to be more comfortable coming to her sooner.”

“So…everything is ok then?” Keith said.

“Yeah, everything is ok,” Lance nodded. “I was kinda embarrassed that my sister saw us and then told my mom and then my mom knew for days before I said anything but you know, whatever.”

“But like, in general, it's all good?” Keith asked.

“Yeah,” Lance smiled softly.

“Ok good,” Keith nodded. “Good, I've been worried about you.”

“Aw babe, you care,” Lance beamed.

“Shut up,” Keith said looking away but even through the screen Lance could see the blush and the smile on his boyfriend's face.

“Hey,” Lance said getting his attention. Keith gave in and glanced at him, buying the smile from his lip. “If I could be sappy for a second here I'd like to say I miss you.”

He watched a tender smile find its way into Keith's face. “I miss you too,” Keith said softly.

 

####  **July 27th:**

The call connected almost immediately. So quickly in fact that Lance was still adjusting the MacBook on his lap when he saw Keith's face pop up in the screen.

“Hey Lance,” Keith said happily.

“Hi Keith,” Lance said pushing back the screen so he fit in the window better. He eyed Keith's face; he had forcibly calm face but Lance could see the small grin threatening to peek out from the sides. He leaned back against the wall of his bedroom, knowing what was coming next.  “You sound very cheerful today, what’s up?”

Keith beamed shifting slightly in his seat, looking impatient. “Well I have something for you,” he said drumming his fingers on the desk excitedly.

“I wonder what this could be about,” Lance said amusedly to himself as Keith’s head dipped out of the screen for a second before popping back up with a small box.

“Tada!” Keith said shaking it gently in the camera. “Happy Birthday Lance!”

“It’s gonna be my birthday in like,” he glanced at the time at the top of his screen, “4 minutes, but thank you,” he smiled. “What’d you get me?”

“Oh no, it’s a surprise,” Keith said putting it down and out of sight from the webcam. “I'm gonna put it in the mail tomorrow, sorry it'll be a little late.”

“That's ok, I don't mind, I'm just super touched that you got me something,” Lance said. It was true, he was sort of completely enamored by the way that Keith was so excited for his birthday. But to be fair, he was enamored by the way Keith did anything.

“Of course I got you something,” Keith said looking at Lance quizzically. “You're my boyfriend.”

“I know,” Lance shrugged. “Still, it’s nice.”

“Well, I hope you like it,” Keith said resting his chin on his hand propped up on the desk in front of him. “I hope you have a good birthday.”

“Yeah me too,” Lance exhaled heavily. “Hopefully this one is good, not like my past few birthdays.”

“Why do you have such terrible luck for your birthday?” Keith laughed softly. “I mean, it’s almost comical the way that none of your past few birthdays have been good.”

“You’re telling me,” Lance shook his head, remembering the tragedy of his previous birthdays. He lifted his hand to count off his birthdays. “On my 16th birthday I got poison ivy. When I turned 17 there was a fire at the pool club I was working at—which in and of itself is hilarious. When I turned 18 I broke my foot. On my 19th birthday I was so sick that I spent most of it hunched over a bucket. And last year was the planetarium disaster, I don’t even want to relive that one.”

Keith laughed sympathetically. “Hopefully this year will be better. Do you have any plans?”

“Well, considering I’m not sick and I’m not working, Pidge and Hunk and I are going to hang out in Pidge’s pool, play some videogames, order pizza, have a really chill day. Then I think I’m going out to dinner with my family,” Lance said. “So there’s lots of room for anything to go wrong, and trust me if it can go wrong it will go wrong. My birthday is fucking cursed.”

“I hope you have a better one this year,” Keith said gently smiling at Lance through the screen.

“It's already gonna start out better because I'm talking to you,” Lance smiled. Even through the slightly blurry skype call, Lance could see the blush growing on Keith's face. “Although I do wish you were here so we could be together for my birthday.”

“Yeah I know,” Keith said somewhat sadly. “But if it's any consolation, we'll be apart for my birthday too.”

“That doesn't make me feel better,” Lance frowned. He let out a groan and leaned his head back against the wall of his bedroom that he was propped up against on his bed. “Ughhhhh I wish we lived closer together. This whole “living several hundred miles away from each other” thing is so annoying and frankly, I'm over it.”

“I know,” Keith said nodding his head sympathetically. “I wish we were closer too.”

“Could you imagine if we actually lived only like 2 hours away from each other?” Lance said. “We could go on long weekend dates. We could meet in the middle cities. We could spent the weekend over at each other's houses. It would be so amazing.”

Lance closed his eyes and imagined what that would be like. Seeing Keith on the regular. Getting to hold him and kiss him often. Driving around with him. It all sounded amazing.

The silence from Keith was concerning. For a second, he thought that he'd upset him by voicing his wishes out loud. He cracked an eye open and looked down at the screen. Only instead of seeing Keith's face, he saw his desktop and an error message on the screen that said “Skype has unexpectedly quit” at the center.

Lance glanced up at the time at the top of the screen. 12:00am July 28th.

“Oh god here we go.”

 

####  **August 4th**

“—and then the professor sent out an email to everyone in the class saying to go buy his book, which a $50 book, and have the first 15 chapters read and annotated by the first day of class. Oh and that's next Monday by the way,” Lance finished annoyedly crossing his arms against his chest.

“That sucks,” Keith's voice came from very distant from the computer. Lance could only see the dimly lit corner of his bedroom that faced away from the closet that Keith was currently rummaging through. Every so often he could hear hangers falling and items of clothing hitting the floor, but he couldn't see much of anything the way the computer was situated.

Lance reached down and grabbed the book in question off the floor and began to thumb through it. “You should see how thin this book actually is. There's no way that they fit $50 dollars in here, there’s absolutely no way,” Lance frowned. “He just makes his students but he book so he gets the money. What a douche bag.”

“Yeah I was gonna say, sounds like a real dick,” Keith said, now sounding even further away. Lance could only see the corner of the window frame, and the almost completely set sun in the distance. There was a brief pause before Lance heard the sound of a box dropping to the floor with a thud, and Keith swearing under his breath.

“You good?” Lance asked, hearing only tearing noises coming through the speaker.

“Yeah I'm just—oh wow I found it,” Keith said.

“Oh shit really?” Lance asked excitedly, sitting more forward in his desk chair. “You won't believe this but my heart actually started beating faster, I can't wait to see it.”

After what had felt like forever, Keith finally dropped back onto his desk chair and into view of his computer camera. “Ok but you're not gonna make fun of me right?” He asked, his hands still holding whatever he'd been looking for underneath the table.

“What? No way,” Lance shook his head. “Now show me, I wanna see the team uniform.”

“Ok but,” Keith wavered for a second, clearly stalling, “it's not like… a sports team exactly…”

“Oh my god we're you a—”

“Mathlete,” Keith finished for him, lifting up a garish orange and navy tshirt with a calculator and compass insignia on the left breast pocket.

Lance lost it. “SHUT THE FUCK UP OH MY GOD THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE,” Lance cried out slapping his hand over his mouth. “YOU WERE AN HONEST TO GOD MATHLETE.”

Keith frowned at him, lowering the shirt out of view. “I thought you weren't going to make fun of me.”

“I swear, I'm not, this is legitimate joy,” Lance said between laughs. Keith didn't look convinced. “Oh babe I swear, I'm not making fun of you. Although when you said you were on a team in high school, I kinda assumed track and field since you're so into running.”

“I only got into fitness after high school,” Keith said. He lifted up the tshirt again, inspecting it himself. He had a sad little smile on that broke Lance's heart. “I guess this was pretty lame,” he said somewhat dejectedly.

“Oh no babe, it's not lame at all,” Lance said shaking his head. “Look hold on,” Lance got up from his chair and out his bedroom, quickly ran down to the living room, quickly waving hello to his parents that were still watching tv together quietly, to grab the two trophies sitting on a shelf amongst many other trophies and ribbons and awards. He ran back up the stairs and into his room, plopping himself back down in his chair. Lance held up the two trophies in his hands showing the plaque to Keith as he read them off. “1st place New York Regional Debate Tournament 2014 and 2015,” Lance said proudly.

A small smile formed on Keith's face. “You're a nerd.”

“I'll have you know,” Lance said setting aside his trophies in his desk, “that being on the debate team was equal part nerd and panty dropper in my high school.”

Keith let out a big belly laugh, the sound of which was like music to Lance’s ears. “And how is that?”

“The debate team was cool, all the coolest people were in debate team,” Lance smirked. Keith gave him a dubious look. “It's true,” Lance pressed on. “Everyone in debate was like smart and hot and awesome and we were super popular and everyone thought we were the shit.”

“Is that actually true?” Keith smirked.

“Uh yeah,” Lance nodded emphatically.

“Oh that's right, you went to that specialized nerd school for nerds,” Keith laughed.

“Mhm,” Lance nodded proudly. “Also known as Bronx Science, but sure, nerd school for nerds works too, _says the valedictorian._ ”

“I guess we're both nerds.”

The look that Keith was giving him grabbed a hold of Lance's heart and held on. _God he's so cute_.

“So like how long do I have to wait until you put that sexy ass Mathletes shirt on? The anticipation is killing me,” Lance said.

“Uh, ok,” Keith said with a breathy laugh. He rolled his chair back slightly and laid the tshirt in his lap. Grabbing the back of his shirt with his hands, Keith pulled his current black tshirt off over his head and tossed it on the floor next to him. Lance let out a long wolf whistle and Keith gave him brief glare, Lance blew him a kiss and Keith smirked as he pulled the mathletes shirt over his head. “Wow it still fits,” Keith said with a note of surprise.

Even through the somewhat blurry skype call Lance could see how well the shirt fit Keith. Somehow he made that ridiculously unflattering and nerdy t-shirt look good. Lance told himself it was just because he would Keith hot in general, that Keith could wear just about anything and he'd find attractive. But then again, he could see Keith's strong chest and biceps coming through the shirt and he decided that it was unfairly attractive.

“You look hot,” Lance said with a pleased grin.

“Shut up,” Keith chided, waving a hand at him.

“You do—wait does it say captain on the breast pocket?” Lance asked excitedly.

“Um,” Keith looked down at his shirt, “yeah it does.”

“You were the team captain!?”

“In my senior year yeah.”

Lance paused for a moment. “Why do I find that weirdly hot?”

“Because you're fucked up,” Keith laughed.

“Ok but like I'm picturing me, a mere junior, and you a hot team captain senior, being the power couple of team based academic activities,” Lance said dreamily. “It's like a wet dream.”

“You have weird wet dreams,” Keith said, though the judgement was marred slightly by the bemused smile he had on. “I forgot I'm a year older than you,” he said after a moment.

“Yeah man, you're the older man taking advantage of innocent ol’ me. It's all very scandalous,” Lance said smartly.

“Innocent?” Keith said skeptically. “Lance let me remind you again, I follow your porn blog.”

“Um there's a big difference between having experience and looking at porn for sport,” Lance said haughtily.

Keith choked out a laugh. “ _For sport_!? I'm sorry, did I miss the masturbating event in the past summer olympics?”

“It's right before swimming but after beach volleyball,” Lance joked. “I think I could place in that event. Maybe not gold but like a solid bronze, silver on a good day.”

Keith shook his head rubbing his eyes with his finger tips. “I don't even know what the judging would be based on. What are the criteria? Do I even want to know?”

“Probably like distance.”

“Distance of what?” Keith asked looking up. Lance just sent him a knowing grin. “Oh gross.”

“Ok but you'd also be kinda impressed too right?” Lance said.

“There is something wrong with you,” Keith laughed despite himself.

“Yeah but like be honest you'd watch that,” Lance laughed. Keith didn't say anything, he just bit down a smile. “Be honest,” Lance repeated. “If I was competing in that event you'd watch it.”

Lance could see the tiniest of blushes form on Keith's face. “I'm not answering that.”

“You're saying you wouldn't hypothetically watch me mast—”

“ _Lance_ ,” Keith groaned throwing his hands over his face.

“Fine fine fine,” Lance said, lifting his hands up in surrender. “I get it. You don't want to say that you totally would, it's fine.” He watched Keith's hands close even tighter over his face, embarrassment coloring up to the tips of his ears. It was unfairly cute. “I'm sorry,” Lance sighed still finding the whole thing wildly entertaining. “I didn't mean to embarrass you.”

“I'm not embarrassed,” Keith said behind his hands.

“Maybe you could try that again a little more believable this time?” Lance chuckled.

Keith took his hands away from his face and settled his face into a neutral expression. “I'm not embarrassed.” Lance eyed him shrewdly for a moment waiting for Keith to break. After a couple seconds Keith did begin to laugh and Lance broke out into a smile too.

“So are you gonna let me take screenshots of you in your team captain shirt for my Olympic training sessions or?”

“Ugh I hate you,” Keith groaned, still laughing.

“No you don't,” Lance smirked.

Keith narrowed his eyes at him but gave in after a second. “No I don't.”

 

####  **August 21th:**

Lance had just dropped into the couch in the student lounge when he heard his phone getting a FaceTime call.

“Is that the boyfriend?” Pidge asked from the couch opposite him where she was laying with her feet in Hunk’s lap.

He pulled out his phone from his back pocket and saw Keith's name and the several emojis that accompany his contact lighting up his screen. “Yup,” Lance said unraveling his headphones from around the phone and putting the buds in his ears.

“Tell Keith we said hi,” Hunk said looking up from his phone.

“Mhm,” Lance hummed tiredly, answering the call and settling into the couch a bit more. Despite how tired Lance felt, seeing his boyfriend's face instantly made him feel better. “Hey babe,” Lance said softly, holding the phone above him with one hand and bringing the mic on the headphone wire close to his mouth with the other.

“Hey,” Keith said. Lance could see that he was clearly in a car, but he couldn't see much else around him. “How was your first day back?”

“Ugh I'm exhausted,” Lance groaned. “I made the stupid mistake of scheduling 3 classes in a row, with a half hour lunch break. Keith I'm dying.”

“Oh damn that sucks,” Keith frowned.

“It really does, but only have one class a day for the rest of the week with Fridays off so I'll survive,” Lance shrugged. “What's up with you?”

“I'm out shopping with my dads,” Keith said glancing out the car window. “Well, I'm not exactly shopping right now, more like, I'm waiting in the car as they spend an hour in Walmart.”

“You mean you don't _want_ to hang out in Walmart?” Lance chuckled.

“I would rather hang out in a Chuck E Cheese,” Keith said with distaste. “There's nothing quite like going down the frozen food aisle with your Black dad and your White dad and your Korean self, while there is a big white guy wearing a confederate flag jumpsuit giving your family the death stare.”

“Oh Jesus,” Lance said.

“Yeah, not a fan of Walmart,” Keith frowned. “No matter how cheap everything is.”

“It can't always be that bad though.”

“Last month I saw a baby wearing an American flag fedora with a minion wearing a cowboy hat on it. It's a godless place.”

“You have to destroy it,” Lance said with feigned seriousness.

“I really do,” Keith agreed. “But,” he winced, “my dad did want to go to Whataburger later so… can't jeopardize that…”

“What's whataburger?” Lance asked.

“You don't know what Whataburger is?” Keith asked incredulously. Lance shrugged and shook his head. “Ok well I definitely have to bring you there when you come here. It's a burger chain and it's super good. I have to take you there.”

Lance felt his whole face light up as he managed to say “yeah, cool it's a date,” without bursting with joy.

It wasn't often that they acknowledged that they were apart, and it was very rare that Keith mentioned Lance coming to visit. For Lance, it was easier to ignore the fact that he was definitely going to go visit Keith in January because otherwise he'd spend every waking moment counting down the seconds until he was there.

He tried to hide it from Keith so as to not make him feel guilty, but he missed him terribly. More than terribly. He missed Keith as if it was an actual physical ache inside him. Sometimes when the pain and longing overtakes him in the middle of the night as he lays in bed wide awake trying to remember the feeling of sleeping curled up next to Keith, he wishes that he never pushed for them to date long distance, just to save himself (and Keith) from this kind of agony.

Lance knew that realistically it was ridiculous for him to feel this way about someone who he'd only met in person once. But that didn't seem to matter when when all he could think about was Keith and his heart beat faster when he talked to him and his stomach flipped every time he saw his face. It'd only been two months (on top of the year they'd been friends) and yet Lance felt like he was really falling—

No. He cut that train of thought off. Like he said, it had only been two months. Two months of skype calls and hours on the phone and texting all day and FaceTiming all the time. Two awesome months. But only two months nonetheless. He'd jumped head first into relationships before, only to get his heart broken and he was not prepared to do it again. Especially not when their relationship was already so precarious.

He was going to wait a reasonable amount of time, and then, and only then, will he feel that way. When he was sure that this was real; for both of them, then he'd tell him.

 

####  **September 8**

It was sometime past two in the morning when Lance felt his phone getting a phone call. The vibration from under his pillow jarred him awake as he sleepily reached for the device. Annoyed at being woken up in the middle of the night, Lance could barely grunt out “Hello?”, his eyes shut tight to hide from the bright screen.

“Lance?” Keith said. The tone of uncertainty and the wavering in his voice woke Lance up instantly.

“Keith, babe what's wrong?” he asked sitting up in bed. His heart was racing and his mind was creating all sorts of scenarios from a mugging to a kidnapping. “Are you ok?”

“Sorry it's late,” Keith said ignoring Lance's questions. The quality of his voice was thin and over worked, like he was on the edge of crying. “I probably woke you up, I'm sorry.”

“Hey it's ok, don't worry about it,” Lance said, hoping to sound as soothing as possible. “Can you tell me what's wrong?”

There was a pause. Lance could hear Keith's labored breaths on the other end. “I'm ok now. I just needed to… needed to… hear your voice.”

“Ok. Hey, Keith, baby, I need you to tell me what happened? Ok? Can you do that?” Lance pressed, still trying to sound calm even though he felt he opposite.

“It's stupid,” Keith said quickly. “I shouldn't have called. It's dumb, I'm being dumb.”

“You're not dumb,” Lance shook his head, even though Keith can't see him. “You can talk to me, ok?”

“Ok,” Keith exhaled. “It's really stupid but, I had a nightmare.”

Lance breathed a sigh of relief. “I'm so sorry,” he said feeling significantly calmer knowing that Keith was safe. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” Keith said quickly.

“Ok that's ok,” Lance said laying back down in bed, feeling exhausted again. “You don't have to. Just stay on the phone with me until you fall asleep again.”

“Alright,” Keith said sounding grateful. “Thank you Lance.”

“Of course,” Lance yawned, pulling his covers back over himself. “I'm here for you.”

 

####  **September 30**

Lance was feeling restless. Well, restless wasn't the right word exactly. Horny was the right word, but he was trying to sugarcoat it.

He been feeling like that for hours, attempting to deal with it at various points throughout the day with little success as relief. Lance had tried ignoring it, but it only intensified the crawling sensation underneath his skin, that feeling of desperation with a need to get off soon and fast. It's was very annoying.

It didn't help that he was currently lying in bed texting Keith. Keith who was so sweet and quiet about things like that. Who got embarrassed when Lance would make sexual jokes and comments at him. Who, despite frequently mentioning that he knew all about Lance's “interests”, never so much as mentioned his own.

This wasn't the first time that Lance thought about Keith in this way. In fact he often found himself wondering what Keith liked, and looked at, and sounded like, and felt like, and—

He shook his head free of that train of thought. Lance still felt weirdly guilty thinking that way about Keith, like he was taking advantage of him somehow. Keith was so innocent and naive to him,  and Lance couldn't help but think that he was sullying his image when he thought about Keith in this way.

But on the other hand, Keith was his boyfriend right? And they had a conversation about sex when Keith was here, sort of. Keith said he had wanted to— at least that's what Lance thought he remembered. He must think about it sometimes, right?

Lance's thumbs hovered over his screen. He stared at the open chat on his phone rereading the last text Keith had sent over five minutes ago. They were talking about nothing really, something dumb; just mindless chatter. But Lance hadn't responded yet, he wasn't even sure if Keith's last message on wanting to order a book really even needed a response.

He glanced at the time at the top of his screen: a quarter to midnight, which means it's a quarter to ten for Keith. That wasn't an extremely inappropriate time to discuss Lance's current fixation. It was certainly late enough in New York.

Deciding _fuck it_ , Lance typed out what he thought was a rather innocuous opener.

**Lance: so I have,,, a dilemma**

He stared at his phone watching for a minute before it went from delivered to read.

**Keith: what's your dilemma?**

Lance let out a slow breath and typed out a rather risky text.

**Lance: well I'm kind of very horny rn**

The message went to read immediately but there was a couple long second pause before he saw the little ellipsis at the bottom of the screen. Long enough to make Lance panic that this whole line of conversation was too far.

**Keith: what makes that a dilemma?**

Some of the tension loosened in Lance's chest. It was an opening to discuss it more instead of an outright shut down. Lance considered that a win.

**Lance: cause I've tried dealing with it myself but I haven't been able to get off**

The response was almost immediate.

**Keith: can I call you?**

Lance choked on air. He had _not_ been expecting that sort of response from Keith at all. At most he was expecting to have a brief discussion on porn preferences and maybe mention that he thought about Keith. But not this. This was more than he'd hoped for.

**Lance: um yes please**

He stared wide eyed at his phone, his heartbeating faster than before. Lance was… nervous? But he wasn't sure exactly why. But he was just very nervous.

A few moments later his phone rang and Lance answered instantly.

“Hello?” Lance said throatily.

“Hey,” Keith said quietly in the other end. He sounded like he was whispering and Lance instantly found that hot.

“I gotta be honest with you,” Lance said shifting slightly on the bed, “I'm surprised you wanted to call.”

“Oh really?” Keith whispered, a tone of amusement in his voice.

“Yeah,” Lance said. “Well I mean, we've never even really… well… sexted for lack of a better word. I thought you were actually just gonna shut me down to be perfectly honest.”

“Why would I do that?” Keith asked and Lance could practically hear the smirk in his voice.

Heat bloomed on Lance's face. “Um well because, I don't know, we don't really… I'm sorry, I'm nervous.”

Keith laughed softly and the sound heated Lance's blood. “Do I make you nervous Lance?”

Lance swallowed. “Um kinda, yeah a little bit.”

“That's good to know.” Lance was positive that Keith was grinning now.

“So um,” Lance began, “look I gotta be honest with you, I am like _so down_ for whatever you have in mind but I also know that this is sort of unexplored territory for the both of us and I don't want you to do anything you don't feel comfortable doing.”

“That's very sweet,” Keith said softly. There was a brief pause. Keith seemed to be coming up with how to say what he wanted to say. “I know that we don't really… discuss this much, maybe that's my fault, but Lance I uh… I do um… think about, you know, this sort of thing.”

“Keith you dirty boy are you saying that you think about sex!?” Lance said feigning shock.

He could hear Keith laughing softly in his ear. “Admittedly yes, occasionally I do.”

“Now I just have so many questions,” Lance laughed.

“Of course you do.”

“Well can you fault me for being curious?” Lance grinned.

He heard a sort of fabric shuffling sound as Keith  chuckled quietly. “No I suppose not.” There was a beat before Keith spoke again. “So what do you want to know?”

Oh god, what didn't Lance to know? “I'm not sure where to start, honestly the thought of you even thinking about sex at all is overwhelming.”

“Why is that?” Keith asked, sounding a mix of both confused and amused.

“Well because you're, you know, Keith,” Lance said lamely. Keith made a noise that was a cross between a scoff and a laugh. “You're just so, oh I don't know. I mean ok look, if we're being honest here, I think about sex all the time. But I don't talk to you about sex so I don't always associate it with you, if that makes sense?”

“Ok I get you,” Keith said after a second. “Do… do you not feel comfortable talking to me about that?” he added uncertainly.

“No it's not that,” Lance said quickly. “I just… well we never really got around to doing anything—which we decided and that's fine… and it never really gets brought up now… but when it does you seem kinda… uncomfortable with it, so I don't wanna force you to talk about it if you don't want to. Honestly, like it took like all the courage I had to just text you earlier.”

Keith paused for a moment. “I'm not uncomfortable with it I'm just… not… experienced.”

“That's ok,” Lance said gently.

“But I wouldn't, you know… _hate_ to have our relationship be more… more…” Keith trailed off.

“Sexual?” Lance said, internally cringing at the word.

“Yeah,” Keith breathed. “It's not like I don't think about it. I just don't know… how to…”

“Well,” Lance swallowed, feeling hot. “Don't think so much. Just go for it.”

There was a long pause. So long Lance even thought for a moment that their phone call got disconnected.

“Are you hard right now?” Keith asked quietly.

Lance's breath caught slightly in his throat. He hadn't been expecting that sort of reaction. He could feel his bludge rubbing against the inside of his pajama pants. “Yes,” he breathed.

“Are you touching yourself?”

Lance's hand slip down to rub at himself over his pants. “Yes,” he exhaled.

“Do you think about me when you touch yourself?” Keith asked, his voice a raspy whisper in Lance's ear.

“Ye–yes,” Lance stuttered, feeling himself grow harder as Keith spoke.

“What about us? Do you think about us being together?”

Lance let out a small gasp before replying. “Yeah I do.”

“What do you think about?” Keith whispered.

His fingers dipped underneath the elastic waistband and his took his hard cock in hand, giving himself a few tugs. “I–I think about you fucking me,” Lance breathed out. He was too turned on to feel embarrassed at this point. “I think about you holding me down and fucking me until I scream.” Lance could hear Keith's labored breath on the other end and instantly his mind supplied him of an image of Keith jerking off in his own bed.The image was so hot and he just needed to know. “Do you want to fuck me?”

“Y–yes,” Keith choked out.

“D–do you think about fucking me?” Lance gasped.

There was a brief pause before Keith answered and Lance could hear shuffling and Keith’s heavy breathing. “Yes, I–I do.”

The sound of his strain voice went straight to Lance’s dick. “Oh god,” he choked out, rubbing himself harder. “Keith—Keith I want you to fuck me. Please Keith.”

“I will—I’m gonna,” Keith whispered on the other end, sounding about as wrecked as Lance felt. The thought alone raced him towards finishing. “L—Lance I need to hear you.”

“Fuck,” Lance breathed. “Tell me wh—oh fuck— tell me what else,” he panted. “Tell me what else you want to do.”

“I want to take you in my mouth,” Keith whispered, sounding strained. “I—oh god Lance.”

“I wanna fuck your mouth. God you have such a nice mouth,” Lance gasped. His hand was really moving on his dick now, jerking himself and rapidly rushing towards his climax. “Keith I—I want you inside me. God, Keith tell me you're gonna fuck me please.”

“I'm gonna fuck you Lance ,” Keith said strained and thick.

“Tell me that I'm so good,” Lance pleaded.

“Oh god Lance you're so good, you're so good for me,” Keith moaned into the phone.

“Can you say that—fuck—that I'm beautiful?” Lance whined. He's so close and Keith talking and panting in his ear is pushing him to the edge.

“Lance you're so beautiful,” Keith gasped softly. “You're so perfect and gorgeous and you're so good for me. I wanna see your pretty face as you cum. God you must be so beautiful right now.”

“Keith I'm—I’m,” Lance managed to pant out just before cumming hard in his hand. “F–fuck.”

“Lance,” Keith breathed.

Running himself through the last bit of his orgasm, Lance panted softly, listening to Keith's quiet moans. They both were silent for a were moments, just enjoying the afterglow.

“Fuck,” Lance whispered. “I'm so gay.”

Keith choked out a throaty laugh. Lance never thought a sound could make him feel so good.

“Are you just figuring this out now? We've only been together for three months now,” Keith laughed.

“Yeah and it took us way too long to do this,” Lance said jokingly, spreading the cum apart on his fingers.

“Well,” Keith said slyly, “now that we've, you know, broken the ice…”

“Yes, yes yes god yes,” Lance said quickly.

 

####  **October 9**

“ _I'm fine_ ,” Keith insisted, his voice slurred slightly. Even through the slightly blurry Skype call image Lance could see that he looked incredibly out of it. His entire right side of his face was slightly swollen and his eyes were heavily lidded like he was fighting off sleep.

“Well you look like death,” Lance frowned, holding the headphone mic closer to his mouth.

“You look like… butt.” Keith snorted at his own joke, clearly delusional from the lingering effect of the anesthesia and medication.

“Great comeback,” Lance shook his head laughing.

“You don't look like butt,” Keith sighed. “You look beautiful, as usual.” He said it sounding almost sad and disappointed.

“Um thank you?” Lance blushed. He looked around the corner of the student lounge he was sitting in to see if anyone was eavesdropping on his conversation. There was only three other students, two of which were also wearing headphones and the third was asleep on the couch. He looked back at Keith who was currently holding the blanket tight around his face, looking like a cheap ET cosplay, pouting off in the distance. “How much pain medication are you on?”

“So many,” Keith said sadly.

The sight of his boyfriend looking so uncomfortable tugged at his heart. “I think you're a little on the high side,” Lance said with an affectionate smile. Keith only groaned. “It's just wisdom teeth. I had this surgery last summer and I was fine after a week, I didn't even need the pain meds.”

“My mouth won't stop bleeding,” Keith groaned.

“It's only been a few hours.”

“I have to live off pudding,” Keith whined.

“And?”

“I fucking hate pudding.”

Lance laughed loud enough to wake the sleeping student. “Then eat something else. Eat ice cream. Or mash potatoes. I only drank Hawaiian Punch and ate mac and cheese for a week when I had my surgery.”

“That's so gross,” Keith pouted.

“Well just find something soft that you like that you can eat for two weeks straight,” Lance suggested. “Are your dad’s there taking care of you?”

“Yeah, and Shiro said he's gonna check in on me,” Keith nodded. He was silent for a few moments looking completely miserable. “I wish you were here.”

Lance's heart broke. “I wish I could be there too,” he said sadly. “But hey, only like two and a half months until I am there,” he added trying to cheer him up.

It sort of worked. “Yeah you're right,” Keith nodded, his speech sort of slurred from the pain medication. “I just… sometimes I wish that we lived near each other so that I could see you everyday. It'd… it'd make my life so much better.”

The annoying sensation of tears prickling behind Lance's eyes behind to build up. But he fought them back so Keith wouldn't see. “Yeah it would,” he agreed softly.

“You know,” Keith continued, not seeming to see that Lance was upset. “I think I forgot what kissing you felt like.”

It was like a hot knife plunged deep into Lance's gut. He knew that he shouldn't be upset; even he could quite remember the exact sensation of Keith in his arms or his body against his. But hearing it out loud hurt more than he imagined it would. Lance had no answer for Keith so he just stayed silent.

“And your hands,” Keith continued, completely out of it, “I don't remember what they felt like.”

Lance looked around again to make sure no one was paying attention to him. “Yeah I um, I don't think I remember anymore either.”

“That's sad,” Keith said staring off into the distance. “I think about you touching me all the time but I can't actually even remember what that feels like.”

Lance quickly wiped an errant tear that fell down his cheek. Keith still hadn't noticed he was so upset, but he was on so much medication Lance didn't think he ever would. Still, it didn't feel good to cry in front of him.

“Sometimes… sometimes I dream that you don't want me,” Keith says, his words slurring together. “It's like when I was in the foster home when I was little, but instead of parents, it’s you and you come in and tell me that you could never really want me. And I just, get passed over. Again and again.”

Horrified, Lance just stared at the screen, tears slipping down his face. Keith, still staring into space, doesn't seem to notice. “Keith,” Lance breathed. “That’s just a dream, it's not real.”

“You know when I wake up from those dreams all I want is to hear your voice,” Keith said sadly.

Lance's mind instantly went to the times that Keith called him in the middle of the night after a nightmare, never wanting to discuss what he he dreamt, just needing to hear his voice. His heart broke even further. “Keith, babe I promise you that I want you, I want you so much. I would never pass you over.”

Keith blinked like he was finally sobering up at Lance's words. There was shout of his name somewhere in the distance and Keith looked up from the computer and looked out above it. “Hey that's my dad, I gotta go.”

“Ok, feel better. Text me,” Lance said.

“I will,” Keith said slowly. “Bye Lance. I love you.”

Words caught in Lance's throat and he was unable to speak at all. The Skype call disconnected before Lance could even think of the response to that oh so very important phrase. The phrase that Keith just said like it was no big deal, like they ended every conversation that way, like this wasn't the first time either of them at had said it.

Lance just stared at the screen for a solid minute before he broke out into a nervous chuckle. Slowly he closed his MacBook, slid it into his bag, and left the student lounge room.

 

####  **October 23**

Impatiently, Lance listened to the phone ring several times. He eyed the clock. It was still 12am if Keith would just pick up…

“Hey,” Keith said answering the phone.

“Happy birthday!” Lance cheered. “Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday my little emo boyfriend, happy birthday to you—”

“It's still the 22nd here,” Keith laughed.

“Oh goddamn it,” Lance groaned. “Time zones, hate those things.”

“That's ok, thank you anyway,” Keith said smiling.

“I wanted to be the first one to wish you a happy birthday,” Lance pouted, plopping himself down on the edge of his bed.

“Well technically you are,” Keith said. “You're just a whole two hours early.”

“I guess,” Lance frowned. “Still,” he shrugged, “happy birthday Keith.”

“Thank you,” Keith said.

“Do you have anything fun planned for tomorrow?” Lance asked, laying back on his bed.

“I'm basically gonna spend the day at homd to be honest,” Keith said. “I'm still on antibiotics from my surgery so Shiro's plan to go drinking is out.”

“Oh yeah how is your mouth? Does it still hurt?” Lance asked.

“Eh, yeah kinda,” Keith sighed. “Chewing still sorta hurts, and I can't really open my mouth all the way.”

“Oh damn I hope that heals soon. It's gonna suck if when I come visit you can't open your mouth—or I guess not suck,” Lance added with a smirk.

He could practically hear Keith roll his eyes on the other end. “Why are you like this?”

Lance just laughed. “I don't know man, you're the one who likes me. You're the one with the issues.”

“Yeah I guess so,” Keith said, the smile so audible in his voice.

“Actually um speaking of that,” Lance began remembering the second reason why he called. He ran his fingers nervously against the top of his comforter. “I wanted to talk to you about something you said a couple weeks ago.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah when you had just come out of surgery and we were Skyping,” Lance continued.

“Oh god did I say something embarrassing?” Keith asked sounding distressed. “If I said anything embarrassing or mean just know I was completely out of it, I didn't mean any of it. In fact, whatever I said, I didn’t mean it.”

Lance had not been expecting that. It stopped him in his tracks for a second. The entire two weeks that Keith's words had been playing in his mind, it never occurred to him that he didn't mean it. That hurt. But Lance had made up his mind, and he was going to go through with it anyway.

“I see,” Lance said disheartened.

“I don't even remember like half of the past two weeks,” Keith continued. “Seriously, whatever I said, just forget it.”

“Right…” Lance swallowed. He picked at the lint on his covers, trying to distract himself from the way his heart was beating out of control. “Well, um… I still want to talk about it anyway if you don't mind?”

“Ok…” Keith said clearly hearing the unease in Lance's voice.

Taking a steadying breath, Lance gathered up whatever courage he had left and spoke. “So I've been thinking about what you said, and now I'm… well my confidence is a bit shaken because I guess… I guess maybe you didn't mean it, but I know that I mean it so I'm gonna say it anyway.”

“Lance what are you talking about I'm so confused—”

“I love you,” Lance said in a rush.

There was a valley of silence between them. Each second felt like an hour to Lance. His heart was beating in his chest so hard and fast he thought it might jump out. With each moment that passed Lance began to regret saying it more and more.

_Oh god I made a mistake. He said he didn't mean anything he said, so why would I tell him that? I fucked up, I fucked everything up. And on his birthday? Why am I so stupid? God I—_

“Lance I…” Keith began.

“You don't have to say anything, um, it's ok,” Lance lied, trying to make Keith better— he was always trying to make Keith feel better. He felt a physical ache inside him at how much Keith meant to him. “I understand that you didn't mean it when you told me that but… but I mean it.” There was a long silence again. Despite what Lance said, he was breaking down inside. “Um, nevermind, just—”

“I love you,” Keith breathed out.

“Um… what.”

“I love you too,” Keith said again more confidently.

“You… you meant it when you said that?” Lance asked in shock.

“I don't remember saying it but I… I definitely mean it,” Keith said. “I love you Lance.”

Hearing it a third time was what broke the glass and Lance finally realized what was happening. “You love me,” Lance said putting his hand over his forehead in shock. “And I love you. We're—we’re in love.”

“We're in love,” Keith repeated; Lance could hear the smile in his voice. Every knot inside instantly unravelled and he felt all the tension in his body loosened at once.

“Holy shit I've been holding onto that for weeks now, it feels so good to finally let it out,” Lance chuckled softly.

“Me too,” Keith admitted. “Although I guess, I did say it weeks ago.”

“Yeah you did,” Lance smiled. “You said it like it was something you always say when you hang up. It just came out so easily.”

“Well um… I meant it,” Keith said quietly. “Lance I've never… um… felt like this for someone before. You're… you're really special to me.”

His heart felt like it was in his throat, and Lance thought it was possible that he could burst with happiness. “You're special to me too.”

“Wow,” Keith laughed softly. “I… I really wanna kiss you right now.”

Lance let out a small huff of a laugh. “I always want to kiss you.”

 

####  **November 1**

“So how much candy have you eaten?” Keith asked.

Lance popped the rest of the fun-sized snickers in his mouth and lifted up the candy bag that was in his lap up to get a better look at it. He held it up to the webcam, pinching it at the top of the candy line inside the bag. “Um, like a third of it.” He dropped it back in his lap and began fishing around for another candy.

“How have you not thrown up already?” Keith laughed, eyeing him warily.

“My mom says I have the constitution of a vulture,” Lance said out he side of his mouth where he wasn't chewing. “Aha— I knew I had a fundip in here somewhere.” He pulled out the small pouch of candy and shook it to get all the powder to one side.

“I swear I'm dating a four year old,” Keith shook his head.

“Hey, I'm four and _a half_ ,” Lance corrected.

“Oh excuse me,” Keith laughed. “I still can't believe you go trick or tricking.”

“Well someone’s gotta take my niece and nephew,” Lance said opening up the packet and pulling out the candy stick.

“And what's Pidge and Hunk’s excuse?” Keith's smirked.

Lance over the top of his screen to where Pidge and Hunk were currently engaged in a serious candy trade on the floor of his bedroom. “They like candy?”

“You know you can just like, buy candy,” Keith said. “You're 21, just buy the candy.”

“Where’s the fun in that?,” Lance said scandalized. “You act like you've never gone trick or treating in your life.” Lance licked the dipstick and stuck it in the powdered candy. It wasn't until he licked it clean and went to dip it again that realized Keith was completely silent. He looked up at the screen in front of him on the bed, and saw Keith sitting at his desk looking dejected. “Oh my god, have you never gone trick or treating?”

“I never really had an opportunity to,” Keith shrugged. “When I was really little, I moved around lot. Then when my dad died and I was out in foster care I didn't go because it was mostly for the really little kids. And by the time I came here, I don't know, I guess I thought I was too old for it.”

Lance felt a horrible sadness for his boyfriend. “But Keith, you were only 10.”

He shrugged. “It seemed like I had outgrown it. Plus here the houses are pretty far apart so you would have to go into town to trick or treat at the shops and that was just too much hassle for me.”

“So what did you do on Halloween?” Lance asked.

“Something way better than getting candy,” Keith said smugly.

“Oh really?” Lance looked at him skeptically.

“Well my dad Thace built a small catapult, and we also have an abundance of pumpkins in the fall, and a very large ranch,” Keith smirked.

“Shut the fuck up why did you never tell me you did that before!?” Lance said.

“Sorry?” Keith said.

“Shit that's awesome,” Lance said leaning back against the wall behind him. “Do you guys do that every year?”

“Yeah,” Keith nodded. “I think it started the first year I was here. They were gonna have some Halloween party plus my birthday party and invite all the kids that I went to school with, but they realized I wasn't super keen on the whole Halloween thing and I didn't really have any friends because i’d just started like a month before, so my dad built a catapult so we could launch pumpkins instead.”

“You know, the natural train of thought,” Lance laughed. “Keith that's super cool— guys,” he said pulling out the headphones from the computer and his ears, and talking over the computer screen at his friends on the floor. “You know that Keith and his dad's chuck pumpkins on Halloween?”

“That's really cool,” Hunk said but was quickly overtaken by Pidge.

“Um what!?” Pidge said scrambling up from the floor and launching herself into Lance's bed. She grabbed the screen and turned it to face her better. “Do you use a catapult or a slingshot?”

“A catapult,” Keith said. “My dad built it.”

“That's so amazing can I see it?” Pidge asked excitedly.

“Well it's dark now but I can send you some pictures in the morning?” Keith suggested.

“Yeah please, here is my number,” Pidge opened up the chat window on the side of the Skype call and typed in her phone number.

“Ok thanks,” Keith said.

“So about the catapult, does it—”

“Pidge, text him about it in the morning, let me talk to my boyfriend now,” Lance said playfully shoving Pidge away from his computer.

“Ugh fine,” she groaned, getting down off the bed.

“I really don't mind,” Keith chuckled as Lance plugged in his headphones again.

“I know but if I let her get one question in, she won't stop until she gets to a thousand,” Lance said.

“Not true,” Pidge called out from the floor. Lance gave her a knowing glare. “Ok maybe a little true.”

“Ok but I'm dying to know,” Keith said leaning his chin on his hand, “what was your costume?”

“Oh you wanna see me in my sexy little costume?” Lance grinned. From the floor both of  his friends gave him a “please don't do this in front of us” face.

“Is it actually though?” Keith said with an half smile. “Because I feel like you probably just dressed up as Deadpool and you don't want to tell me because that's Marvel.”

Lance's eyes fell on the Deadpool costume on the far side of the room. “I went as a sexy french maid.”

“I fucking knew it,” Keith grinned. “ _Oh D.C. is the best, Marvel sucks_ ” he said mimicking Lance.

“Shut up,” Lance laughed rolling his eyes. “I don't even sound like that.”

“Oh yes you do,” Keith nodded his head. “My Lance impressions are spot on.”

“Oh really? Well my Keith impressions are good too,” Lance said gesticulating with the dipstick. “Here look: _oh look at me I'm Keith, I'm so emo but don't tell anyone I'm actually a huge softie who loves my boyfriend more than anything_.”

“Yup,” Keith smirked. “Sounds exactly like me.”

Lance just looked at screen, taking in the sight of his boyfriend smirking up at him. He felt tug at his heart, one he now knew meant that he was completely and totally head over heels in love with Keith.

“God I miss you,” Lance exhaled after a moment.

Keith smiled softly at him. “I miss you too.” Those words made happiness flood his chest. “Um can your friends hear me?” he asked after a second.

Lance looked up over the edge of the computer; Hunk and Pidge were back to trading candy. “No,” he said gesturing to the headphones.

“Good because I wanted to tell you that now I absolutely need to see you in a sexy french maid costume,” Keith whispered with a grin.

Lance felt his whole face flush. “I—um that can definitely be arranged.”

 

####  **November 23**

When Lance's phone rang, he let it vibrate on the bed next to him several times before sighing and picking up.

“Hello,” Lance said bringing the phone up to his ear.

“Hey,” Keith greeted happily. “Happy Thanksgiving.”

“Yeah,” Lance said, not really able to say much else.

“My dad wanted me to tell you that your dad's recipe for pork was amazing,” Keith continued on not noticing Lance's tone. “Seriously, he made it and my other dad was like “turkey who?” and then ate so much of it he fell asleep on the couch right after dinner.”

Lance wasn't sure what to say, so he said nothing. Keith didn't seem to mind.

“Also we watched the Macy's day parade on tv,” Keith said. “Have you ever gone? I mean I know you said that only tourists and idiots go to New Year’s Eve thing in Times Square but does the parade fall under that same category?”

“No I haven't,” Lance sighed, turning on his side in the bed, picking at the pills of lint on his sheets. “And yeah, it does.”

“I know that I'm like a quiet country boy,” Keith said. That got the better of himself and Lance smiled softly. “And I have reputation to maintain, but sometimes I kinda… wanna go to a parade. I just like the floats and the big balloon thingies.”

“Mhm,” Lance hummed not exactly in agreement but just as a response.

“So how was your day?” Keith said with a content sigh. “Did your dad make that joke this year? About the forgotten pilgrim?”

“The Juan Gonzalez joke, yeah he did,” Lance said with a half smile despite his ill tempered mood. “It's always the same. He says that in the retelling of the Thanksgiving feast they talked about that one pilgrim, but they were really just mispronouncing that “Juan” pilgrim; Juan Gonzalez the forgotten Spaniard who brought the arroz y frijoles. That his explanation for why we eat arroz y frijoles at Thanksgiving.”

“I told that to my dad and he thought it was hilarious,” Keith said with a smile. “He said next year we'll definitely make that next year in honor of Juan.”

“Mhm,” Lance said, feeling his sour mood returning. Usually his bad moods would go when he talked to Keith. Only this time it didn't seem to be going anywhere.

“Hey are you ok?” Keith asked sounding sort of worried. “You're kinda… well you don't sound like yourself.”

Part of Lance wanted to snap at him and say how else was he supposed to sound like, but he thought better of it and sighed. “I'm fine.”

“Are you sure?” Keith asked unconvinced.

“Yeah I'm fine,” Lance repeated, getting annoyed. “Everything is fine, you don't have to worry.”

There was a brief pause. “O–ok, sorry,” Keith said taken aback by Lance's sharp response. “I mean, I'll leave you alone if that's what you really want it's just that you sound kind of, well, not fine.”

“I said I'm fine,” Lance snapped. He instantly regretted it but another part of him, a buried, cruel part of him relished in indulging the festering bitterness.

“Did I do something? Why are you angry with me?” Keith asked confused. “Because if I did something, you can just tell me.”

“You didn't do anything,” Lance sighed. “I'm just tired and I've had a long day with my family and I don't know I guess I'm just tired.”

“That's ok, we don't have to talk now if you don't want to. You can just call me later. But I'm here to talk of you want to,” Keith said sounding far too agreeable. So nice and accommodating it made Lance angry.

“I don't want to talk, all I've done for the past 12 hours is talk. Talk talk talk,” Lance said angrily. “I'm tired and I'm really fed up with socializing and I'm just so drained.”

“O–ok,” Keith swallowed. “I'm sorry—”

“Stop apologizing!” Lance cried. “Just drop it!”

“I'm s—” Keith caught himself before he could finish the thought.

“You're so frustrating sometimes,” Lance said bitterly.

“Sorry?” Keith said confused.

“There you go, you did it again!”

“Well what the hell do you want me to say Lance!?” Keith said annoyed.

“Nothing, just drop it,” Lance bit out.

“I'm not gonna drop it,” Keith continued. “You don't get to just be a dick to me and then when I'm trying to be empathetic you blow me off. That's not how relationships work.”

“Oh yeah like you would know,” Lance said under his breath, but the small sharp inhale from Keith told him that he had heard him. Shame flooded his veins, and he felt horrible for saying that but it was too late to take it back.

“I don't have to have a bunch of exes to know you're supposed to talk to your partner,” Keith said, his voice tight with forced composure. “Also having a bunch of failed relationships doesn't make you an expert at maintaining a good one. Actually the opposite.”

“I'm not saying that you should have a bunch of exes,” Lance exhaled frustratedly. “I'm just— look I don't even know what I'm saying. I'm just… in a bad mood.”

“Well I was trying to ask why before you bit my head off,” Keith said flatly.

“Well maybe if you would just let me come to you in my own time I wouldn't have been so hostile,” Lance gritted out.

“What the fuck— I called you to see how your day was, not to have a fucking argument with you because you're feeling pissy,” Keith bit out. “Excuse me for caring about how you feel. I just miss you but apparently that's a bad thing now.”

“That's the fucking problem!” Lance cried out.

“What are you—”

“This— this stupid fucking distance, it fucking sucks,” Lance said angrily. “I had to sit there the whole day, watching my parents and my brother and his wife, and my sister and her boyfriend, and there I was, alone because I'm the idiot dating someone who lives in a different fucking time zone. And all the while I'm listening to them tell stories about where they went together and foods they tried together and all this together couple bullshit and do you know what my stories were!? _Oh yeah I Skyped with Keith last week_ or _when I was texting Keith_ or _we talk on the phone_ . That's it. I'm sitting there talking about a someone I hadn't seen in person in _months_ while they are all happily talking about what they did together last weekend. I felt like a fucking idiot. Like I was talking about someone I made up. It was ridiculous.”

Lance ended his rant with a huff. For a few moments he could only hear his own heavy breaths and the sound of his blood rushing in his ears. It took him a couple of seconds before he realized that he couldn't hear Keith. Feeling uneasy after unloading like that, he carefully lifted the phone from his ear to look to see if the call was still connected. It was.

“Kei—Keith,” Lance began unsurely. “I… I didn't mean to rant at you like that. I'm s—” he was cut off by the sound of Keith sniffling quietly. Lance immediately felt as horrible as he ever had in his life. “Keith don't cry. Please I'm sorry, I—”

“If you didn't want to talk to me you didn't have to pick up the phone,” Keith said; his voice was so thin and so quiet and Lance felt like the biggest asshole in the world.

“No Keith, I didn't—”

“You know,” Keith continued, “you're the one who wanted to date long distance like this. I'm the one who said it was a bad idea. You don’t get to get mad at me for realizing this four months too late.”

“Keith it's not a bad idea, I'm just being an asshole,” Lance said quickly. “Please Keith, I'm—”

“If you hate that I'm not there then just end it and go find someone you can go on weekend trips with if that's what you want so much,” Keith said, sounding thick like he was on the edge of tears. “I thought we were making it work but I don't want you to resent me because you're unhappy. If you feel like this is too hard then just say so, but don't blow up at me for trying.”

“Keith it's not —” but it was too late, Keith had already hung up.

Lance tossed his phone across the room and he heard it hit the wall with a satisfying crash before slamming into the floor. He smacked his hands over his face, letting out a frustrated groan.

“Fuck,” Lance said, the word tasting of anger and resentment— not at Keith but at himself. He knew he fucked up.

Lance knew that he shouldn't have said any of that to Keith, that the distance was hard on the both of  them but they were trying to make it work. Of course they were both frustrated and angry that they couldn't be together normally. But that wasn't any reason for Lance to take it out on Keith, the one person who knew exactly how this felt. Who lived with that everyday. Who even warned him that this was going to be painful.

He should have listened, he shouldn't have pushed them into this relationship before giving it real thought. He just got caught up in the romance of it all, the whirlwind week they had together that was amazing and incredible and life changing. Lance got distracted by his emotions to see that the reality wasn't just dramatic airport scenes and phone sex. It was going months without so much as holding hands. It was communicating mostly through texts. It was grainy Skype calls and bad cell reception and incompatible schedules. It was living part of your life on your phone.

The worst part, the absolute worst part, was that all Lance wanted to do in this moment was call Keith for comfort. He wanted to hear his voice and for Keith to tell him that everything was going to be alright. That they were ok. That he loved him.

But he didn't have that option. Because he fucked up. And he had to live with that.

 

####  **November 24**

It was barely 7am but Lance couldn't wait a second longer. He hadn't gotten any sleep, his mind was racing all night. Already fully dressed from the day before, Lance grabbed his phone and quietly stepped out of his room. He made it downstairs without waking anyone, and silently walked through the house. Grabbing his jacket from the hook by the door, he went out into the backyard.

The cold November morning air hit him, instantly chilling the forgotten tear tracks that had formed on his face overnight. He had a slight headache from crying and over thinking that the chilly breeze was sort of helping with. Wrapping his jacket tight around him, he walked over to the swings in his backyard.

Dropping into the middle seat, Lance swung back and forth a bit as he gathered his courage. In his jacket pocket he thumbed his phone, fingering the screen long crack that showed up when he finally picked it up off the floor after he'd thrown it against the wall. He knew he was going to have to give Keith the biggest apology in the world he just wasn't sure if Keith would even want to hear him out. Or if he deserved to be heard out.

With a sigh, Lance pulled out his phone, clicked on Keith's contact and brought it up to his ear. It rang and rang and rang. Lance knew that it was still about five in the morning over there but he was hoping that Keith still followed his early running schedule even on holiday weekends. As it rang for a seventh time Lance just accepted that Keith was either asleep or ignoring his call when he finally heard Keith's raspy voice on the other end.

“Hello?”

“Hey Keith,” Lance said gently, feeling all the sorrow and anger at himself fill his mouth.

“Oh…hey,” Keith said quietly.

“Sorry I know it's a bit early,” Lance swallowed, kicking at the grass. “I couldn't sleep.” Keith didn't say anything, and Lance took that to mean that he didn't really care. “I um… I wanted to apologize to you. For everything I said yesterday. I was… well I was so out of line.”

He waited for Keith to say something but when he heard nothing Lance just continued on. Lance felt a tightness grow in his throat; he knew he was on the verge of tears again, he just had to hold them back long enough to say what he needed to.

“You know I um, I spent all last night thinking and I realized a few things,” Lance continued. “I was a huge and total asshole to you, and I am so, so sorry. You don't deserve that, not at all. I know that you worry that you're not open and honest with me but you always are and it's me who's a mess. I'm… I'm the mess.”

He choked out a dry, humorless laugh as he ran his fingers through his hair. “You were right, we shouldn't have started this… this relationship. It's just pain and frustration and you called it. But I didn't listen. I pushed us into this because I didn't… I didn't think about this, the reality of four months in and how much it hurts that I can't see you or be near you. And it fucking sucks.”

Lance rubbed the dry tears from his eyes, fighting the urge to cry again. “But you know what really sucks? That even though I know you were right and that I'm a huge asshole for forcing us into this relationship that we probably never should have started in the first place, I couldn't break up with you even if I tried.” He let out a another humorless laugh. “Isn't that pathetic? I'm the one who has a meltdown and I'm sitting here crying about how much I need you. And fuck, if that doesn't sound like the most manipulative bullshit ever but I'm so serious Keith. I love you more than I can even put into words and you're my everything and I miss you so fucking much I could cry.”

He sighed heavily, his breath shaking with emotion. “But I don't deserve you. You deserve someone who doesn't get jealous of their fucking family. Or someone who doesn't take their frustrations out on you. Or someone who isn't so goddamn selfish. You're handling this whole thing way better than me and… well fuck, you're just amazing. And I'm… not.”

There was a long stretch of silence. Lance began to squirm in his seat thinking that maybe Keith had hung up or gone back to sleep. But after almost a minute, he heard Keith speak.

“You're a fucking idiot.”

Blinking, Lance hadn't really expected that.

“You don't think I get jealous when I see couples together? Or I get insecure when I think about how you see so many amazing people in New York? Or upset at the fact that I miss you all the fucking time? Do you really think I don't feel everything you're feeling?”

“I…”

“Lance you're right, I have no experience in dating. Everything I'm doing is guess work. I'm going into this blind. And maybe I fuck up a lot, I probably do. Maybe if I was better at this you wouldn't feel that way about our relationship. And that's my fault, I shot myself in the foot by telling you from the get go that I was apprehensive about this. It probably made you feel insecure about me, and I understand that.”

Keith took a heavy breath. “But I'm _trying_. I'm trying so hard. And yesterday you made me feel like… like it didn't matter. Like what I was doing and how I was feeling didn't matter. And Lance… we're a couple. It's supposed to be the two of us, both of us trying to make this work.”

“I know, I know and I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry,” Lance said, giving in to the tears. “Fuck, I feel horrible because you do matter. You matter so much to me. I was frustrated and jealous and I acted like a total dick and I'm sorry.”

“Just talk to me ok?” Keith said. “When you feel like that just come and talk to me. You don't have to bottle it in.”

“Ok, I promise,” Lance said in a rush. “I will, I swear.”

“Ok,” Keith said softly. “I'll do the same.”

“Please do,” Lance breathed. “I wanna make things right between us. I need to fix this.”

“Just the next time you feel like this, come to me,” Keith said. “We'll talk it out.”

“I will,” Lance said with a sniffle. “I love you. So fucking much.”

“I love you too,” Keith said. “Get some sleep. Call me later ok?”

“Ok,” Lance yawned, suddenly feeling very tired. “I'll talk to you later. I love you.”

“Love you too,” Keith said again as he hung up.

Feeling exhausted and slightly less shitty, Lance slumped his way back into his house and up to his room where he fell into bed clothes and all.

 

####  **December 12**

“Hey gorgeous,” Lance greeted as soon as the Skype call opened up on Keith's face.

Keith smiled softly and rolled his eyes. “Hey Lance.”

“Why the eye roll?” Lance asked with a small laugh.

“Because… shut up,” Keith said lamely with an embarrassed smile.

“Are you seriously still embarrassed by me calling you gorgeous?” Lance asked surprised, sitting up more on his bed. “That just means I need to compliment you like that more often.”

“I'm not embarrassed,” Keith said incredulously. Only his tone was so forced and Lance could see right through it.

“Oh really? Not even when I call you my beautiful, perfect, alluring boyfriend whom I love?” Lance said grinning at the screen.

“Nope,” Keith shook his head, biting back a small smile. “I'm not embarrassed.”

“What about when I call you my sexy, smoking hot boyfriend whom I lust for?” Lance smirked,  looking for a stronger reaction.

“Oh my god,” Keith said, throwing his hands over his face in embarrassment.

“Aha, so you do still get embarrassed!” Lance said pointing at him through the screen.

“Well when you talk like that, yeah!” Keith said moving his hands to the side of his face. “You'd react the same, you know.”

“Hmm I don't think I would,” Lance said pondering for a moment. “I'm sort of immune too that stuff.”

“Oh really?” Keith said skeptically.

“Mhm,” Lance hummed.

“Not even when I say that you're the most stunningly attractive person I've ever seen?” Keith said.

“Ooh tell me more,” Lance grinned, making a show of getting more comfortable on the bed.

Keith narrowed his eyes at him briefly, looking at him competitively before continuing. “Lance you're seductive and alluring, and the mere sight of you reduces me to a melted pool of wanton lust for you.”

Lance's breathe caught in his throat but he didn't say anything to interrupt Keith.

“You're intoxicatingly beautiful, and everything about you is enticing and overwhelmingly sexy.”

Lance was starting to grow hot but he still didn't stop Keith.

“Lance you're a heady combination of charming and salacious, sultry and—”

“Ok, ok I give in, please stop,” Lance said, putting his hands over his face. “You win.”

“Ha! So you do get embarrassed,” Keith grinned, sitting back in his desk chair smugly.

“Um,” Lance swallowed from behind his hands. “Not exactly.” There was a few seconds of silence before Keith made a sound of realization. “Yeah, I know. The slightest bit of praise and I'm a goner.”

There was another beat of silence.

“Lance you're so gorgeous,” Keith said. Lance quickly spread his fingers apart and looked through them to see Keith in the screen, smiling knowingly at him.

“Keith please, you know I'm already—”

“Like really stunning,” Keith continued. “You could be a model you're so hot.”

Lance let out a pathetic little whimper. “I'm… Keith please, if you continue I'm gonna want to… you know…”

“Did I ever mention how attractive your mouth is?” Keith continued with smirk. Lance inelegantly moved his hands down to palm himself through his boxers. “Or told you all the things I want to do to your pretty mouth?”

“Keith please this is torturous,” Lance whined softly, tossing his head backwards against the wall behind his bed.

“Why is it torturous?” Keith laughed lowly. “Because you're imagining your mouth on me?”

“Well yeah,” Lance said shutting his eyes a tight, envisioning closing his lips around Keith's cock, taking him further and further into his mouth until he felt the head hit the back of his throat. “And also because like… you're not here to do any of this with…” Lance sighed, tilting his head forward to look at the screen. Keith was looking at him, not sadly exactly, but he looked somewhat upset.

“I know,” Keith said gently, leaning back in his desk chair.

“And god Keith, I want you, I want to be with you, you know, like this, like how we talk about,” Lance exhaled heavily, moving his hand from himself. He tossed his head back again, hitting the wall with a thud. “I love you and I want to be with you.”

“I mean aren't you… you are coming in a few weeks? Right?” Keith asked quietly. Lance lowered his head at looked at him. He looked hopeful but nervous.

“Of course I am,” Lance said softly. “Keith I told you I was coming back in June and I meant it. I'm going.”

“So in like, less than a month, you'll be here,” Keith said slowly.

A small smile spread on Lance's face. “Yeah, I guess you're right.” Keith smiled back at him. “Shit, I need to buy my ticket.”

“Do… do you wanna do that now?” Keith offered.

“Um,” Lance bit his lower lip. “Can we uh, finish, before we do that?” Keith raised an eyebrow at him. “What? You got me all hot and bothered, you know what praise does to me.”

Keith regarded him for a second. “Yeah ok.” He started taking off his shirt.

“Oh god yes,” Lance breathed.

 

####  **December 19th**

Lance scrambled across the living room to grab his phone that was ringing from the kitchen. His sister laughed as he practically stumbled halfway there, reaching his phone before the call went to voicemail. Giving her quelling look, he picked up.

“Hey Keith,” Lance said turning away from his sister who was still laughing at him.

“Hey, you busy?” Keith asked.

“Not really why? Well sort of actually, I'm helping my mom clean the house for Nochebuena,” Lance said glancing back at where he'd left his sister, still laughing, moving all the living room furniture to mop.

“Isn't that like, on the 24th?” Keith said.

“Yeah but when you wanna get the house Cuban Clean, you gotta start early,” Lance said. “But why you ask? Did you need something?”

“Oh no not really, you just sounded out of breath when you answered so I thought I'd caught you in the middle of something.”

“No I uh, tripped running to get the phone,” Lance admitted sending his sister into a second fit of giggles. “Lola will you please stop laughing at me!”

“I can't, it's so funny,” she laughed.

“Well if you're busy I'll let you go, I just really wanted to say hi,” Keith said.

“Ok, sorry I wish we could talk longer. Although,” Lance said taking a few steps away from his sister and back into the kitchen and hopefully out of earshot. He lowered his voice, “it's only a couple days now.”

“I know,” Keith said, Lance could hear the smile in his voice. “I'm really… I’m really happy you're coming Lance.”

“Me too,” Lance smiled softly. “Nine days.”

“Not soon enough.”

 


End file.
